We’re halfway through! Things are going well, and we are very busy. In addition to successfully completing two compliant weeks on the Whole30, we have a week of rehearsals under our belt for our next production opening in September. We have discussed a few times that staying mostly on-plan after the thirty days seems like a no-brainer, although I have trepidation about how easy it will be as a post-plan way of life. I still feel emotional temptation towards bread and sugar, even when not hungry, and right now my best defense against those cravings is telling myself, “Hey, it’s only thirty days. You’ve come too far to blow it now.” Without that, I worry about my willpower. I have not put effort into developing better coping mechanisms around cravings, I’ve just satisfied them with compliant foods. So I have to wonder how much is really changing.
In the spirit of consistency, let’s return to the Whole30 timeline and see how things compare.
Day 8-9. For the love of Gosling, my pants are TIGHTER.
I mercifully seem to have skipped this bit, though I did feel some frustration for a few days late last week — despite really spectacular expectation management on the part of the creators of the Whole30 — that they didn’t feel any looser. I now know that this phase is normal as my body adjusts to the lack of easy-access sugars and accounts for any digestive issues I have experienced through the second week.
Day 10-11. The hardest days.
These are real, friends. I can’t remember if it was on Day 10 or 11, but on one of those days I found myself walking through the office, approaching the lunch room, and I thought, if there was a big basket of bread in there, I would eat it all. I would not hesitate, i would not think twice. All I can say is that I am glad there wasn’t. These are the days when most people abandon the plan. But as I read the website’s description of why, “You’re cranky, you’re impatient, and you’re really, really tempted to just eat the stupid cheese”, I don’t really identify with that. Instead I observed the challenge of facing my own issues with compulsive eating, and not walking away with a satisfying “I learned something today” feeling. I need to keep paying attention to this.
The other part of the site’s notes on these days is about “redefining your idea of a reward.” I wish I used food as a reward, but my desire for bread and butter and starchy salty things is less about reward than it is about comfort. The site asks you to remind yourself that food cannot fill voids for you, “cannot make you feel truly accomplished, comforted, calm, happy, beautiful.” I agree with most of that. i don’t agree with comforted. I don’t think there’s anything non-human that comforts me better than food, that takes the edge off restlessness — especially when that restlessness seems to be caused by the desire for a particular food! So this is where I think I have some work to do. I see my therapist against in a couple of days for an update. We’ll spend some time on this for sure.
Days 12-15. Boundless energy! Now give me a damn Twinkie.
Per the site, “This is the part of the program where our minds try to drive us back to the comfort of the foods we used to know.”
This is where we are right now, I’m unsure. I don’t have boundless energy. Sometimes I don’t have enough energy to get through the workout I planned. I feel smaller? I feel confident in myself, and I am having vivid dreams but they aren’t about food. I think if the Whole30 was the only thing I was doing right now, I might be more in tune with this timeline. The rehearsals really throw things off. They are at once energizing and exhausting. I can’t wait for them to start, I don’t want them to be over, and I’m terrified I will never learn all my lines. Food? Who has time to worry about this? I sleep soundly and then wake up too early and my mind starts racing and I think, I should get up and look at my script. I should run that scene again. Did I write that blocking down correctly?
So yeah I don’t know that any of that has anything to do with the Whole30.
Based on the things coming up for the last couple of weeks in the timeline, my next update should be fantastic. 🙂 We’ll see. Some positives to note: I never feel randomly stuffy anymore. There is less snoring in our bedroom at night. My clothes fit better than they have in months. We have discovered some new and fabulous recipes. I still love avocado egg salad! Best of all, my mind is clearly. While physical tiredness is sometimes an acute issue, my mental acuity is sharp and ambitious. I think I like that better than anything else.
Until next time, enjoy, friends.